Mystrile is Forever
by BooBoo
Summary: Part III: the last leg of the trilogy previously cantaining "The Idiot and The Oddesy" and "You Only Die Twice" this is probably the best written of the two storywise. Even though the other two contained senseless but funny comedy, this one offers a story


Mystrile IS FOREVER  
By: BooBoo  
  
Hello my name is Chauncy Me-Off. If you don't know who I am then please go read the first two parts of this trilogy they are "The Idiot and the Oddesy" and "You Only Die Twice" and you'll find out. If you don't feel like reading them than I shall tell you that I am the son of Karen and Jack Me-Off. He goes my story.  
  
MIF Foreword:  
The first thing I remember was askin' papa "Why?" Cause' there were many things I didn't know. Daddy always smiled and took me by the hand sayin' someday you'll understand.  
Well I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son, You better learn it fast: you better learn it young cause someday never comes.  
Well, the time and tears went by and I collected dust, for there were many things I didn't know. And daddy went away and said "Try to be a man and someday you'll understand."  
Well I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son, You better learn it fast: you better learn it young cause someday never comes.  
  
Mystrile is forever:  
That's right daddy left me when I was 18. As he walked away he sang the words to a famous Credence Clearwater Revival son "Someday Never Comes" which I have offered the first two verses of it as my foreword. He told me of the times when he had to resurrect a farm and now it was my turn. As for him he had all this money and nothing to spend it on, so him, Karen, and Cliff sit around rollin' doobies in a van, DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!! But unlike him I was already married to a beautiful young miss named Thelma. She is the daughter of the doctor and Elli. From what I hear she takes after the doctor's side because I've always heard talk of the doctor being the son-of-a-whore which really wouldn't surprise me.  
I had no reason for farming because I was a gangsta and no I will not bust out another oldie on your new-wave asses you fuckin' electric guitar humping motherfuckers. Yes all you who like bands named after food products can blow me, my name is Chauncy Me-Off, and the number is 1-800-98-ur-daddy.  
My story takes a turn for the suckiest of asses here. Well Ellen died but they never buried her decaying carcass just sits in her rocking chair and rambles and every time I walk past she says "Use a condom when you fuck my great-granddaughter, she isn't ready for a child yet."   
I usually reply "How ya doin' Ellen, why don't you go fuck a duck."  
Another thing I hate is fuckin queer-ass racists who butt-fuck each other. They murdered Greg. I swear to every mothers son I will get those fuckballs back. They kill my brother in cold blood with hatred in they hearts. But then they was burning their crosses in my cabbages (I decided to farm anyway, you know, it's a hobby), I remembered something my father reminded me of before he went off. He told me in case of an emergency look in the back right corner of the tool chest, so I did. I pulled out a automatic 9mm handgun fitted with a silencer. I went outside TINK! TINK! TINK! There were three of them, I removed the hoods: Jeff(no surprise that damn dago), Doug, and What the Hell? BASIL!!! Well I pissed on their dead bodies and shipped them to the Grand Dragon with a note that says "Killed by a Roman Catholic."  
But times were tough. The only way for a man to make money as a farmer was to grow your own food and steal. Duke and Siabra went Global and Jeff's market was bought out by Shop n' Save. And in the midst of it all my dad committed suicide. It wasn't an overdose. When the three fagots who I just capped threw a grenade at his, Mom's, and Cliff's van he fell on it so he would be the only one to get killed by the explosion. Pretty stupid if you ask me, I mean after all the people Dad shot he wasn't gonna be like a saint or meet the Pope or anything. In fact, many of times he has told me that if he ever met the pope he was gonna punch him in the nuts and say "Now speak 19 different languages you old shit-monkey!"  
But he left a list for things for me to do and it went like this:  
1. punch Carter in his nuts  
2. kill Jeff just because he uses ten pounds of hair grease a day.  
3. fart on Stu because he sucks  
4. finish what I started  
Finish what my dad started. What does he mean? Could it be, no it cant, please no. If I have to finish the conspiracy that he has tried to stop, the re-rise of the Nazi's. Or maybe he just wants me to make the rest of Kano into sausage, yep that's it. So I put Kano's legs and head into the old sausage maker and oh shit. Damn, that must be why my grand-pappy died of Cock-Suckers disease, look how purple that meat is.  
As I was walking down the street pedaling the sausage I saw Stu. So I turned and passed gas on him. I then sold the sausage to Carter and as he unloaded it POW! right in the family jewels, the bits and pieces, the ni-nis, the meatballs, the little soldiers, the yakadoric smolisks, and all the other slang terminology for testicals. I think the urge to punch religious officials in the crab apples is in the family blood.   
And my dad also told me that shooting Nintendo characters was a little reflex my family had. I walked into the square and a fat Italian dude cam sprinting out of a bar, he was high. He was sprinting around saying "It's-a-me Mario." And something clicked, almost by instinct I pulled out my gun and capped his ass. I wasn't afraid, I just tossed him in the ocean.  
I forgot to mention my daughter, Bertha. I received a note from that grand dike(dragon) who I sent the three fagots in a hood to. He said he was coming for me. I made the wifey and baby Bertha to flee. The next day I received a knock on my door. An old guy with piss stains on his pants broke down the door and stabbed me. All I had was one bullet left and no more clips. All of a sudden a gun shot rang out. The Grand Dragon fell and in the pistol smoke was ..........................................................Dad!!! "I thought you were dead." I said  
"Remember, son, you only die twice." And as he said that he sang the words of the last verse of the CCR song, he sang "I think it was September, the year I went away, for there were many things I didn't know; and I still see you standin' tryin' to be a man but someday you'll understand. Well I'm here to tell you now each and every mother's son, You better learn it fast; you better learn it young cause someday never comes." And with this he shat himself in the foot and then he went and jumped off Mother's Hill. My dad was always a dick. You are the weakest leisure-bird goodbye.  
  
  
That is the Trilogy  
  
CREDITS-Idiot Foreword-"Fresh Prince of Mineral Town(yeah I know it's village)"  
Oddesy foreword- First paragraph of "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens  
It's a great book, I recommend it   
Y.O.D.T. foreword-"Outside Help" written and sung by Johnny rivers in 1975  
M.I.F foreword="Someday never comes" written by the incomparable John   
Fogerty and sung by Credence Clearwater Revival  
featuring John Fogerty  
  
I would also like to say thanks to all my readers and to my 3'6" classmate Zack a.k.a. Ace87MC who without him, I wouldn't have ever played or known about Harvest Moon and who is also gonna' put some freaky death grip on me when we get back to school for calling him 3'6"  
  
Still to come- Although the trilogy is done I am still going to write fanfics. I think I'm going to write a Super Mario fic and then I will be back to my old HM fanfics. Thanks for reading.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
